it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize