come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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