We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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