Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
