well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
