He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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