i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
