Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize