3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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