in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
