do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
