So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
