1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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