new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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