So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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