Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
