I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Shame - the story of my life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize