I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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