There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
