Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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