I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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