thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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