too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
