If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
