Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
