i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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