We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
