how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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