My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
