i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
