Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
