just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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