My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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