awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
