that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
