I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
