another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
