we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
