I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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