I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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