Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
