i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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