windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
