you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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