And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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