real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
