I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
