I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
