Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
