Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
