I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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