He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
