quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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