no you cant smoke seaweed
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
