so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
sex in a hospital.. check
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
