wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
