Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize