saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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