If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
