i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
