it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
